Happy Friday, readers! I know I’ve been lax on the blogging this semester, and I want you to know I do NOT take this job lightly. Sometimes I take writing a judicial opinion for my seminar a little too lightly… but never this blog. But I have been busy, and Britney has been less busy, so we’ve all survived with some lagtime on our BS gossip. BUT this week, B has been blowing up the news (gossip columns) with rumors. X-Factor? Smash? Wedding? Lawsuits? McDonald’s???
X-Factor: these headlines (is she? isn’t she?) have been blowing up my Google Alerts all week. Apparently Britney expressed interest in joining the show as a judge, and Simon Cowell said he’d love to have her and that it would be “a walk in the park” for her. The latest indicates that Britney IS in talks with Simon and could be joining the panel! I won’t hold my breath for these negotiations to pull through, but this seems like it could be a good steady gig for domesticated soon-to-be-married Brit. In other fake news, there was a rumor for a minute that Brit would be joining the new show Smash (which I’ve somehow managed to not get obsessed with yet), but it was quickly denied.
Delayed Wedding: Originally my girl was set to tie the knot on The Best Day of the Year. Then we heard late summer country wedding in the works. Now apparently they’re further delaying the wedding, hoping to get all of Brit’s legal dramas out of the way (without her having to testify) so that her dad can end the conservatorship before she’s married to Jason. Perez reports that Brit has a wedding planner, Louisiana is still the planned destination, and that it will take place once the case settles or when the trial ends. When people sue Britney, they’re usually looking to settle, so I expect that will happen soon (Sam Lufti is the WORST). His suit against Britney and her parents for breach of contract and defamation looks pretty weak, since a judge in 2009 granted a THREE YEAR retraining order to keep Lufti away from Britney and her kids.
Gross Bodyguard Lawsuit: Bitches love to sue Britney! It’s all the rage, still, and I hate that it works out so well for some people. I reported this summer that Brit’s former bodyguard, Fernando Flores, had sued her for…being naked in front of him? Tryna sleep with him (which Britney, a true betch, would never do)? He tried to start rumors about Britney sexually harassing him, and she chose to settle the lawsuit – probably providing his paycheck fo life. This is why celebs need a stringent employee screening process! #hiremebritney
“Normal” kids: K-Fed is running his mouth about how he wants his kids to have normal lives and “work at Mickey D’s.” The irony is too much, considering K-Fed is white trash, not a celeb, and overweight to the point of passing out during weight loss shows. Plus the thing about Britney loving fast food. Sean and Jayden will not be working at any McDonald’s. Hopefully they’ll attend USC and pursue modeling careers and NOT knock anyone up until they’re 22. Family firsts all around, while being good children of celebrities. The little blond Spears boys really are too cute, so I hope they turn out great. Just not working at McDonald’s to make their dad feel better about himself.
Does blogging about legal dramas constitute studying for law school? Can I submit this post as my judicial opinion? Really, open to input… I’ll leave you with real celeb disaster news by way of Lindsay Lohan on the Today Show this week. Turnin’ that career around, baby. I will drink to her on SNL tonight, though, and hope for something epic to happen. Or out of kindness, actually hope that Playboy+SNL happens to be the killer comeback combo.
Enjoy your weekends, Spring Break is fast approaching! Peace/love/Britney.